Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
Kink, Geeky, C-NM and all things in-between. Working to make Kink and Non-Monogamy no longer a stigma. New episodes Thursdays.
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Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
The Social Probation Period | Pillow Fort Sessions EP 42
Julius explores how different communities operate similarly despite their diverse interests and activities. He dives into his experiences navigating kink, board games, non-monogamy, geek culture, and improv communities, highlighting the universal patterns that emerge in each social group.
• All communities have an approximately 90-day "probationary period" before truly accepting new members
• People need to see you consistently show up before they open their inner circle
• Bad actors and creepy people don't last long in any community regardless of focus
• Finding your specific tribe within the larger community takes time but is worth the effort
• Communities we choose often provide acceptance we didn't find in communities we were born into
• Being quiet and not engaging socially makes integration much harder
• Persistence is key - sometimes it takes years to find your specific people within a community
If you want to join a new community, just go! Keep showing up, develop social capital by talking to people, and don't get discouraged if acceptance takes time. Email your questions to AroundTheKinkyKampfire@yahoo.com.
Got a burning question about kink, BDSM, relationships, and/or navigating the wild world of alternative lifestyles?
Send in your questions. No topic is too taboo, no curiosity too small! We’re all making mistakes, growing, and exploring together!Submit your questions anonymously at aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com or slide into our DMs at Twitter-KinkyKampfire, YT-AroundtheKinkyKampfire, IG-KampfireKinksters. Let’s keep the fire going!
Come let us know what you think on IG - https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Welcome to Around the Kinky Campfire. Grab a seat, pour a drink and let's turn up the heat. This is the podcast where we explore the wild, wonderful and sometimes wicked world of kink, bdsm and alternative lifestyles. Whether you're a seasoned player, a curious newbie or just here for the stories, we've got something for you. Join us on Thursdays on your favorite podcast platform as we share experiences, dive into deep discussions and maybe even spark a little fire of your own. No shame, no judgment, just real talk around the Kinky Campfire. Let's get lit. Welcome back everybody to the bonfire that is here. Bones are crackling and schmackling all over the place, but we are here to talk to you, give you the advice you need and the opinions you didn't know you needed. We're back again to Around the Kiki Campfire. The Pillowfort Sessions. I am your host once again.
Speaker 1:Colonel McPhee, senior Taco Knuckle Fresno, bob the Cuddle Gigolo, aka HH, julius or just Julius, if you're feeling formal, I think I'm going to be a little bit more straightforward with the intro, just so don't lose people. I'm partially joking around with all the different names, but, on a serious note, julius is the name. Julius is what you'll see when you go around and look at all the different things, mostly podcasts and some videos out there. Now, before I get into my topic of the day, y'all know what it is it's the Around the Kinky Campfire of Pillowfort Sessions, because I am the only one talking to you. I'm not introducing anybody else, except for probably another persona of mine. We'll see how that goes. But right now I am talking to you. Julius is talking to you out there with some more opinionated viewpoints on certain things.
Speaker 1:But before we get into the topic of today, I am once again not sponsored by another tasty drink for our ASMR. 30 seconds, 10 seconds, 5 seconds however long it takes for me for the cold to hurt my teeth that's usually what happens because it's nice and chilly. I like me a nice, chilly beverage. And today, not sponsored by Deep Eddie Lemon Vodka, soda, 4.5% alcohol, so not as much as the other ones that we had before. But once again, I keep saying this I will hold myself out for a sponsorship, especially if it's an alcoholic beverage or a food beverage or even coffee. I'll do smart water or heavy water, whatever you want to call it. Now, um, just learned recently from a uh zach afron documentary there's different kinds of water out there. Didn't know there was water sommelier's like a wine sommelier and that sounds sounds fascinating to me. I would drink some heavy water. It's actually delicious. I've gotten some 9.5. I don't know how authentic it was. I mean we could do some spring water out of a tap in an old warehouse somewhere. I don't even know. Could that be true? But 9.5 water is what I usually go with if I want to get some hydration going with some thickness in there. But that is not what we're drinking today. It is vodka soda from Deep Eddy. I like their vodkas, so vodka soda should be good. It has lime flavor, so we'll see how that goes.
Speaker 1:We're going to start the ASMR five seconds here in three. Two. One Teeth are hurting. Yeah, it's nice and cold, not too bad. Very lemony flavor right off the bat. That's all I'm going to say about it. It's not bad.
Speaker 1:But if you want to sponsor us, feel free to hit me up on the emails and thank you for the people that have been emailing and hitting me up. Fellow, like-minded people of the communities and lifestyles trying to make it bigger and put it out there more. We ain't here to judge people. We're here to accept everybody, no matter what you do out there, especially if you're trying to build the communities or all the alternative taboo lifestyles, let's make those untaboo. That's the goal of the peoples here around the Kinky Campfire and I prefer to have people that are of a like mind. So if you're into growing the alternate lifestyle of the taboo communities, feel free to hit me up. We can do things. Also, I appreciate the people that are my allies out there that are interested in all this kind of information and they have me on their podcast and friends and everything like that and hopefully we get some videos going and some educational lessons out there all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1:But that is not what I'm talking about. That is a little bit of a backhouse cleanup type deal call to action. If you will Send me those questions, people, I enjoy those I'm going to do some more opinionated things on different topics that I like to talk about and then we'll get into the questions. I'll pull them from somewhere. If I don't get some out, I can talk about just about anything. So I like the questions that people have in the communities and the Reddits. Say what you will about Reddit, but there are some great conversations happening on Reddit If you're not hip to it already. Also, of course, there's some not so great conversations on there, but you give and you take. You do it with your will.
Speaker 1:I am a big, I'm a futurist. If anybody wants to figure out what that is basically, I am not going to be uh scared of what comes in the future, like ai and stuff like that. I'm a big fan of using the tools I need and definitions I need and the information that I need and applying it uh, what I choose from that, taking what I want and applying it to my life. Big experimenter I don't know how many times I have to say that, but I'm a big experimenter. I like to experiment with what I've gotten. So if you want opinions from somebody that experiences and has the academic knowledge of reading the books and listening to the podcasts applying into everyday life, you've come to the right place. Whether it be right, wrong and different, I don't really care. It's my experience and you're here listening to it, so somebody likes it. I get downloads per month, so somebody's listening to it. However, infrequently these episodes come out, which I do apologize. Sometimes life gets in the way.
Speaker 1:I got a bunch of stuff going on in IRL In real life. How do you even say that I'm having stuff IRL. There we go. That's right, in real life, stuff happening, people, stuff is happening and it's out there and hopefully you will get to see it on the interwebs at some point. I make videos of it all. I really need, like a good editor or something. One day, when we get sponsorships, we'll get the increased quality and you'll see some videos, video podcasts. That'd be great. Get that going, hopefully at some point in the future.
Speaker 1:But anyways, speaking of communities like Reddit and FetLife, people go on there and they ask questions. Now, for me, I don't even know how many subreddits I'm part of like 10 or 20, but there's a lot of similar questions, whether it be in BDSM, non-monogamy or even the improv that I'm going into now, board games, all the different communities I've been part of over the years. There's a lot of similarities and it's like people have all these questions and you like to lump people in, but there's differences in all the communities. And it's funny too, because, like we have the kink community don't like to be grouped in with the swinger community, but those people are, you know, body positive and open to all kinds of stuff as well. So I don't know why we're like separating and segregating each other. People have their things that they like. Now, some people just like fucking, some people just like tying people up without fucking. There's a middle area in there, so we can have that too. And it's also I've been part of the board game community for over 10 years as well Similar to the kink community, and there's a lot of similarities and differences there. People have different boards.
Speaker 1:Now, okay, I'm getting a little geeky here, but I'm just going to tell you there's specifics as your official board game stop that are specific types of games out there and mechanics. I'm probably losing a couple of people here but there are differences in board games and each person has the ones they like and the ones they don't like. Now, I prefer the longer ones. Yes, the average of the board games I play are about two hours at least. So that's a thing.
Speaker 1:And there's there's snobby people. I'm one of those snobby people. I will not play with people that like to play a party game or something. If I never have to play Cards Against Humanity the rest of my life, I will be a much happier person. That game is boring as shit to me and I can't do it now if you offer me alcohol and get me drunk enough, my opinions might change. You might get me in for a couple rounds, but I'm not taking that shit seriously. I'll just throw a random card out there. I don't even care if it makes sense with the prop, do not care. So that is my opinion because I've just had too many plays of that game.
Speaker 1:But everybody has their own little thing that they take and they um leave behind. So similar to that king community, and I'm going to talk about both of these right now. I'm just going to start in the middle of the journey, because I came into those communities later in life and I realized, ooh, this is for me, I'm glad I can be here, I'm allowed to be here. Did not know I could do that. That's the big feeling I've had all the time I'm allowed to do that as myself that's interesting Didn't know that until I get in there and I got acceptance.
Speaker 1:Of course you have to have that quote unquote probationary period before everybody starts inviting you into their houses and stuff like that, because you can't just be having people all willy nilly off the street coming into your house, which I will say is a slight caveat when it comes to the board game community because I have been to a couple of places people's houses where they just have an open invite. So you just post on, like Facebook or meetupcom. And if you don't know what meetupcom is, it's just a social site where you can just post events and then you can. It's just like a website where you just have straight up events and people can, you know, be a member of the website and see all the events in their area. People posted. But I've known people that open up their house to board gamers and they just let them in their house 50, 60, 80 people playing board games for like 10 hours and it's like I've never seen that before. So that is one thing that is a little bit different than all the other communities. I don't know any other communities, especially in the kink. You need to just putting that on a public site and inviting random people in there, maybe on FetLife, but you have to pay or be vetted or something.
Speaker 1:Go to a munch first before you can go to somebody's house. Yeah, it's just so nuts with board game people. I've just never seen that. But most of the times I mean I've been going for years and most of the times there's no issue. So I will say board gamers are a different breed, because I'm not a highly emotional group of people. You're not going to see people just like theft and burglary oh man, this deep eddies has got me burping. You're not going to see any vandalism or anything in somebody's house. Most people are very respectful. They come in and play board games, eat some food and then they leave. I mean, it's very social. So even if you're going to somebody's house, that's definitely something interesting. With a board game community, that will be the one thing that is different than all the rest.
Speaker 1:I was trying to make this episode. It was like similarities in all the different communities, but I just had to point that out. With the board gaming community, it's very interesting how that works. Okay, so let me start from the beginning and say that of course I got to get nerdy here, because that's what Julius does.
Speaker 1:The definition of communities is a group of people living in the same place, living in the same place, I guess, in the same area, same place On Earth In America, are having a particular interest in common. So that is what communities are? We here at the around the kinky campfire like to build communities, more specifically, the nominous, nominous queer and kinky BDSM communities. We want to put a more positive light or just educate people that are unawares of what goes on exactly. And there's a lot of different communities out there. Y'all are probably part of a few, not only the kink and or non-monogamous one, but there's, you know, you have social communities and, like I said, I have board games and in the beginning I was involuntarily associated with communities. I don't know about y'all, but I mean there's cultures that you're born into that you just didn't know and it's assumed.
Speaker 1:By the way, you represent me being a POC person for multiple POCs, I got indoctrinated into a community that I don't necessarily agree with. It's just like I don't care. So if you come up to me and you're just like, hey, man, what's up, dude, and it's like you think we have something in common, but I ain't your boy, that's not me Most of the time, not even go by boy, you know, it's like 25% of the time I might go by a girl. So yeah, I got born into that and so, yeah, I got. I got born into that and, uh, my family was a religious type, which I am not now. I am agnostic, don't really care specifically about any institutions. I'll just say at that end, all the way to that side of the spectrum, I don't really care about those institutions too much. That's just how I uh experience life. So involuntarily being added to this thing, I mean I can't say we all have family, there's orphans out there, but you have a family and people have family members they don't necessarily agree with. So that's another involuntary thing.
Speaker 1:Community that you got part of. So this is like the nuclear family and relatives like that, and you go out and yeah, there's some cultures like I would present as out and yeah, there's some cultures like I would present as male and it's like there's some stereotypical stuff that people associate. Yes, I have privilege and yes, I've used that privilege. Also. Affirmative action was a thing before. The dei stuff was there and then gone, I guess somewhat updated on that whole political side of things. But affirmative action has been used by me multiple times in life to get a fair advantage. Some people say unfair advantage just because you know the color of your skin. But we live in America, people, we know who the majority is Okay. So you got to kind of even the playing field because we don't all start out in the same. Some people start 10 yards behind the line, and some people start 10 yards behind the line and some people start 10 yards in front of the line. So, even coming out your mama's vagina, we all did not come out in the same starting place, so there's part of that.
Speaker 1:But yeah, I have the genetics of a person that looks like a football American football linebacker growing up all my life, so everybody just kind of assumed that I was going to be playing football, which I did, but I didn't like it. I will say that right now, if you ever see me in person. I didn't try to look like this. I just like to eat food and instead of being like 300, 400 pounds, which would be a nightmare for me myself personally that is my opinion I need to work out on a regular basis. So working out is cardio running was the one I choose to do and I need to put lift some weights and put them down. I lift things up and I put them down. I lift things up and I put them down. So I need to do that in order to stay uh, height, weight, proportionate or presentable for myself. I still need more work to be done, but presentable and not want to bury myself in a hole somewhere, cause it's like, oh God, what am I looking at right now? And I'll just say that, if you see me, I don't do anything.
Speaker 1:People, what are protein shakes? I don't know what those are. Definitely not steroids. I won't be doing any drugs anytime soon. 72. I'm just going to put all that crap in a cocktail. Besides alcohol and weed. I've not done anything else crazy. So 72, I'm just going to put it all in a big old blender and just suck it all down in one big drink. All the stuff I have not tried. That's out there. Whatever's there at that point in time, 30 years from now, oh God, 30 years from now, that's less than half. Ugh, ugh, I feel so old, whatever, but that feel so old, whatever. But that's my point. I don't even know what protein shakes are. You ask me what protein shake? Is it supplements? Uh, look, I'm gonna look at you crazy. Like what are. What are supplements?
Speaker 1:I eat a vitamin gummy, multivitamin gummy. The reason why I eat it? Because it's a gummy. It reminds me of childhood. Only thing I like about childhood was fruit snacks. So I'll eat a vitamin gummy. You ask me anything, anything else? I lift things up and I put them down and I run from here and I run to there. That's it, yes, out in the Florida heat, at 1 o'clock in the afternoon, you will see me running 5k, 10k out on the trail, even at the alligators and the turtles out there taking a sun sun bath break or whatever. Yeah, I don't know any about any of that.
Speaker 1:So I played sports because I liked it. My favorite was basketball, but I did not grow tall enough, unfortunately, to be able to play in the NBA or even college. So I had to give that dream up and I played the weekend. Warriors is what we call it. Those are the people that you see out on the basketball courts trying hard to. I don't even know why. It's just an aggressive culture. There's a lot of arguing, sometimes fights, and these people are in their 30s, 40s and 50s. It's like what are we doing here? You're not getting paid for this. Why are we taking this so seriously? So after I got it into my head that it doesn't make any sense for me to try so hard and be in pain for so long, I was like do love it.
Speaker 1:But now running is my main activity. I've come to realize that running and running clubs. People say is the best way to find dates, relationships, is a run club. Now, that's very interesting. That's in the pop culture, the zeitgeist for the people that are out there dating and going to social events. Apparently, you need to go to a run club, check that out.
Speaker 1:But running races is something I enjoy. It gets me up in the morning, because I hate getting up in the morning. I'm not a morning person, but for some reason I will pay the $80 to run a race before the sun even comes out. I don't even know what's going on with me. That's so weird, but I do it and I enjoy it. So that's the only physical activity. Sure, we'll go with that. Fucking is not a yes, it is. You break a sweat. Whatever. My point is organized physical. No, organized porn is still organized activity. Physical activity. I don't even know what to classify. It is breaking a sweat. I lift things up and I put them down and I break a sweat. I mean, I do that, but I don't know cardio, let's just put it that way. I don't even know what classify it as.
Speaker 1:So when you see me, I present these types of ways and it's like ugh, there's the whole religious aspect. It's like I didn't choose that either. Like I'm choosing agnostic now because I don't really care about it too much. It's like people just have this pre-described notion and then certain religions are very judgy. I mean, let's not even talk about the crusades, okay, but like forcing your religion on other people. I don't know about y'all, but our downtown area here in central florida there are people that will get on a speaker and yell at other people about finding god and like being heathens, drinking and fucking on the street. I've not seen any other community do that. So here we go. I I'm trying to make similarities.
Speaker 1:There's another thing is it's like the religious people out there yelling at people and it's like I couldn't imagine me, like you should be Kiki, go out there and be Polly, fuck random people Not just one person for the rest of your life Like I would not stand on a quarter, yell people to shame them. Like what kind of craziness is that? I like to call them the Jesus freaks, those ones specifically. I'm not grouping everybody together, but if you really think you can just stand out there and preach to people on a Friday and Saturday night and you think you're going to get your point across, like oh yes, I should put down this sex on the beach and pick up a Bible. No, why are you yelling at me at 10 o'clock at night? I just no. Why are you yelling at me at 10 o'clock at night?
Speaker 1:I just got off of work after a whole week of working and I'm out here drinking, socializing with my friends. I probably only see like once a week. That doesn't make any sense to me. Why would you want to do this? And then you got the other morons that go around in people's houses knock on the door and they want to preach to them that way. I don't even understand that. It makes no sense.
Speaker 1:Anybody seen that Dave Chappelle bit where he's got chicken, chicken, chicken. Okay, if you don't know what I'm talking about, then you know how it is to fuck with people Like you. Come to my house and you come on a regular basis. You're going to get fucked with. Hasn't happened to me. Actually, it has happened to me a couple times. I just ignore them right now I don't have the time to mess with them. But yeah, 100% If I was in it for a bit. So when I do stand-up I'll probably do more. That's funny. Once I do stand-up on a regular basis, then I'm going to start fucking with people just to have more stories like that Because, yeah, dave Chappelle's Chicken Big is fucking hilarious.
Speaker 1:Just people coming to your house and talking to you. It's like, don't preach to me. I'm not going to have some random person on the corner like, oh yeah, you should do this. I'm like, oh yeah, I'm going to change my life. Yes, you changed my whole life now by telling me about this thing that I've heard about many times a Bible. Oh, I had no idea what that was. I should go put this drink down and go straight to the church, get ready for church in the morning. It's like I'm not that person you think I am and wave my hand in front of them like I'm um ben, oh, ben kenobi out there, these are not the droids. Okay, this is not the person. You see, you got me the wrong person, okay.
Speaker 1:So for me, I identify active, not really so much a jock, but it's like I just yeah, I'm, yeah, that, and then everything. That's the only one I kind of relate to is being active. Yes, I like to be active because I like to eat. There's no other reason for that. People will like, oh yeah, you did no.
Speaker 1:So I don't get fat and my knees don't hurt, because if I don't work out on a regular basis my knees start to hurt. Yes, I run 10K twice a week. My knees don't hurt as much as if I was just sitting for like three months. They hurt way worse. I barely can even walk If I do not do any physical strengthening, conditioning, whatever you want to call it. So for me it's avoiding pain and avoiding fatness, because, good Lord, 50 pounds makes a huge difference on your knees and ankles. I don't know if anybody realizes this. There's people which makes no sense to me that have physical pain and then they don't want to do any physical activity and then they're overweight and it's like you wonder why your knees hurt. Maybe you should do some kind of strength. I mean, it's just actual science. That part's not even my opinion. My opinion is why the fuck are you not listening to the actual science and going and doing something? I don't. I don't get it. So for me, if I don't do physical activity, my knees and joints hurt, it's painful and I am okay.
Speaker 1:I like to say jokingly, I'm a mouth masochist because I do like spicy food. Spicier the better love it other than that not a masochist and for me I always realized something was wrong with how I was being raised and not exposed to. I knew something was out there and for me the first thing that I got into was being a geek. So I've always been an accidental geek. I didn't even know anime and video games specifically like street fighter anime, games from japan, that type of thing. Uh, I grew up in the culture, involuntarily, where it was more in line to play like madden and 2k nobody knows what I'm talking about football and basketball games and I didn't. I didn't, uh, I didn't like that. Uh, for me it's just like no, I like fighting games. Okay, this, this is what I like in watching anime and that kind of stuff, superheroes and all that stuff and I got shamed for it a little bit growing up and it's like that sucks.
Speaker 1:But then I had to go out into the world and of course there was a time change and the nerves have risen, the geeks have risen and everybody watches anime now, which is kind of crazy, because if I ever go back to school sometimes I'll see people reading manga in the classroom. It's like I struggled so you could do that. You little shit streaming. Like you go back to like shady smoke shops or even like record shops and nobody even knows what they are and like they'll have like p p o piece of shit. Um, I don't know, I was gonna say pos, piece of shit tapes from japan with bad dubbing and like horrible staticky screens and that's how we had to get our anime movies and tv shows back then. And now it's like crunchy roll and high dive and people can just be like I grew up watching this. It's like you, motherfucking.
Speaker 1:When I first started watching one piece, I had to wait like five years before the dubbed episodes to come out. I hate you all. No, that's just jokingly lucky bastards, um. But now it's all different. So I've always always been a geek and just didn't know it and I knew something was wrong with people always hating on me for stuff. I even played Yu-Gi-Oh back in the day. It was like two years after Yu-Gi-Oh came out on the TV show. I played Yu-Gi-Oh back then, got hated on, made fun of, and then it finally changed. I had to be an adult to actually be able to be a geek and experience all that the glory days. So yeah, geekdom is always something I've talked about. Even I hear a little bit. And I'm getting emotional now because in my mid-20s I found FetLife and then I became part of the kink community.
Speaker 1:I think I've told the story of when I first went. When I went to my first munch and I felt acceptance there. I had weird questions asked of me like am I supposed to be here? And I was like I think I am and I go in and everybody's experiencing the same thing and grew up the same way. Well, grew up in school running around picking on the girls and getting chased by people and it's like I used to do that and I's like I used to do that and I felt acceptance. And it took me that long to finally have my longest relationship at the time Because it felt like I was just muddling around in monogamy and vanilla. And I got into kink and I was like, oh, this is where I'm supposed to be. So good, so great, it's amazing.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I'm just going to go through these next ones kind of quickly so geek, non-monogamy, queer, and then improv. Those are all the different communities that I found later in life and became a part of. I can go into those in detail, uh, or have gone into those in detail, but what I want to say is the similarities between all these things, because people always want to be like what's that like, what's that like, but it's like the similarities, okay. So, geek, kink, non-monogamy, queer improv, all these different things, board games, all that different stuff I'm putting that under geek. All right, everybody has like a probationary period.
Speaker 1:Now, I mentioned this at the earlier part of the episode. Now I gotta kind of my time has run out so I've been reminiscing a little bit. So obviously this is going to be another part 27 of however many because that will that will uh be a thing for me for a long time is going to these communities because I still go to them. These ones, because I chose to be a part of these, will continue. The other ones are involuntarily. I'm leaving those behind, so to speak. It's a good bullshit detector, because if you know me, then you know everything I present on the outside is not what I'm part of in the inside Different kind of communities that I involuntarily decide to be a part of. So similarities for all the different communities, and I'll tell this again for all the different communities.
Speaker 1:These things happen all like, are part of all of them. There's like a probationary period. You gotta keep coming back for people to accept you. It's like a flip of the switch. I'm telling you this right now Been geeky for 20 plus years, been in kink for 10 plus years, been non-monogamous for like five years, queer like five years. Improv only a year and it happened again in improv. You got to come. There's a 90 day probationary period.
Speaker 1:It's so crazy, because people will not accept you. They'll keep arms length from you until you've been there long enough and they've seen you enough, and then all of a sudden, like oh, I remember your name, hey, come do this thing with me, come join me in this thing at my house or with our group of friends that I've known for years, and then now you can finally be part of us. It's happened so many times. I keep telling people this. It's like you gotta get there and try something new, cause if you've been part of any community, it's it's the same. You just keep hanging around and people will accept you. It's so freaking crazy. It's really like a light switch, happening all every single time. Even the ones I'm like tangentially part of, like with kinky part, tangentially part of the swinger community, it's the same way you keep going there and those same way you keep going there and those people are like, oh, okay, it's julius, he's back again, we can invite him to stuff. And it's like, oh, now I get to go to your house. It's like, okay, something happens with that.
Speaker 1:And for me I have not had any like microaggressions or animosity or anything like that. Even presenting as male because there's so many males, and especially in like the kink and swingers places like good lord, um, I actually improv too like males are. It's not a female, it's hard to you. Gotta try to get females in your troop or whatever. That's a active thing in improv and a lot of the groups I'm part of. I wonder why that is interesting. But it's like everybody is very nice when you get to know them and very accepting and open and there's not a whole lot of judgments. Even if I present as a black person, uh, I haven't had any microaggressions or anything like that. Most people are very, um, colorblind, as they, as I like to say, I'm colorblind when it comes to dating. Uh, and very accepting.
Speaker 1:A lot of people all through the communities. I'm talking about all of them, all of them, not anyone specifically. If you go out there. You're a nice person, people will be nice to you back. I've not had any issues. So I will just say that right now. I know Maybe it's because I live in Central Florida, but I've not had an issue like that before. So it's like you hang around, be a nice person and people will be nice to you back. That kind like you hang around, be a nice person and people will be nice to you back, uh, that kind of thing.
Speaker 1:Just kind of wanted to touch on, um, those two areas so far, just to get in people's heads. It's like, oh, they're trying to segregate people, but it's like everybody's just trying to be nice. For the most part there are assholes and creepers. I guess that's another similarity. When you see somebody that doesn't vibe with the group, you need a bad vibe check In all communities. They do not last long. I will tell you that right now. I don't care what your orientation is social orientation I should say what group you choose to be a part of. If somebody's being an asshole, if somebody's being creepy, they do not last long. I don't care what you're geek, board games, kink, improv, poly, whatever those assholes don't last. They will be gone. So make sure you get with your little group.
Speaker 1:I have close friends in all the different communities that I do a vibe check with and they keep me in line. I gravitate towards more people that call me out for shit inconsistencies and I appreciate that. And you gotta you gotta find your like little group to um if you want to survive last long in these communities. There'll be a few people that agree um with you more than the others and they they also like stick around. You can tell when people are serious and have a passion for those things that uh, uh, that you uh and have a passion for those things that you like. So with the board games, with the gig and the improv, I have very close friends that I see on a regular basis in these different communities. They're not always intermixed but when I go there I see them and I know that they're good friends of mine and yeah, there's good and bad with all of it people.
Speaker 1:So my time is about run out, so I just want to make those points to you out there, go out. You got to go out and just experience life, got to go out there and experience the different things um. So I wanted to kind of make this hopefully related to my advice line from before you got to go and try things and you might not find your group in those specific communities right off the bat, but you got to keep trying because eventually it'll happen. I will say for me that that was one thing I knew. I had to be intentional with it, with uh, finding a group that related to me. If I had not done that, because it took me a while in kink especially, it took like eight years before I found my group of people.
Speaker 1:Um, so it's, it's not always quick having fast and improv. Because I'm older now I guess I'm, my filters are a little bit better. But yeah, um, definitely, board games is kind of uh, different because I just kind of had friends that were in their board games. But definitely with kink there's a lot of turnstile people that just came in and out the lifestyle. It took me a while to find my group that is pretty consistent and not really going anywhere. I'll just say that as somebody that's experienced with going into different social groups and having no problem just going by myself to events, it's like, okay, a lot of similarities I'm seeing. Maybe I write a book about that. I don't know if people do that anymore. Five, ten different social groups, all these friends that I have for years that I've never met before. That's pretty funny. Yeah, book idea Julius writes a book about social lives. Maybe that'll be Interesting thing I could sell At some point. But for now, this is your host, once again, not sponsored by Deep Eddie.
Speaker 1:Lemon Vodka, soda, 4.5% Alcohol, very lemony, feels like a seltzer lemonade Regular old thing. I barely taste the vodka in there. I feel it but I don't taste it. But, senor Taco, knuckle, fresno Bob, colonel McBee, the Cuddle Gigolo, hh Julius here giving you more of my opinion. I hope you guys enjoyed that. Please ask me questions on the social medias. From the intro and the emails and then also in the outro, let me know if you have any questions about communities and stuff like that. The answer is going to be yes.
Speaker 1:Go to that event, wherever it was posted PetLife, meetup, facebook. Just go. Talk to people. You have to talk to people. It's weird if you just sit there and don't say anything. I'm sorry, that's just it's weird. So there's tools for you to use if you're new in a situation and an introvert and want to spark up conversation. You have to develop that social capital If you're just sitting there not saying anything. It's weird. I don't care where you are.
Speaker 1:I will say this because I've been that weird person just having an off day in board game event, in a king event Not so much of an improv, like I said, I'm older now but definitely at a poly event. Just sitting there, swinger event or something. Just sitting there and people are just like, oh, that guy's weird. It's like, yeah, some days you just have bad days, but then you got to keep going back. I kept going back and eventually I made friends. You got to keep going back but yeah, you got to develop that social capital One. You just keep going Even though you're not saying anything. Still weird.
Speaker 1:Every group has that one person, usually a guy, that just goes there and doesn't say anything. But the person is consistent, they keep coming back. So it's just ah, this is weird, harold, whatever his name is, and we just know he's not going to say anything. Just keep saying he, because he's usually a guy for some reason, but he's consistent, so we allow him, we know he's there. Just the thing. You can be that creepy, weird person if you want to Just keep going first of all, that's it, and then develop some kind of social capital. You have to display that you're able to talk to people. That's what people want. You're less creepy and more acceptable if you can talk to people. All right, that's it for now. I've gone way over time, but this is Julius.
Speaker 1:Catch us on Around the Kinky Campfire Pillow Force Sessions on Thursdays. That's it, hello. That's a wrap for this episode of the Around the Kinky Campfire podcast. We love having you by the fire and we love to hear from you. Got a kinky question, a steamy story or a topic you want us to cover? Slide into our DMs and send us a message at AroundTheKinkyCampfire campfire with a K at yahoocom. Don't forget to subscribe, rate and review wherever you're listening. Your support helps keep the flames burning and the conversations flowing. Follow us on Twitter kinkycampfire campfire with a K. Youtube around the Kinky Campfire campfire with a K, or Instagram campfirekingsters campfire with a K To stay in the loop. Join the community and keep the kink alive. Between episodes on Thursdays Until next time, stay safe, stay sexy and keep that fire burning.