Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
Kink, Geeky, C-NM and all things in-between. Working to make Kink and Non-Monogamy no longer a stigma. New episodes Thursdays.
AroundtheKinkyKampfire@yahoo.com
https://www.youtube.com/@aroundthekinkykampfire/featured
Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast
Rewiring Your Mind: The Science of Habit Formation | Pillow Fort Sessions EP 28
Ever wondered what truly sets the successful apart from the rest? It might not be talent, but instead the powerhouse of consistent habits. Join us as we dissect the often subconscious world of habits, challenging the notion that talent is the golden ticket to mastery. With a blend of humor and heartfelt stories, we explore how anyone can break free from self-imposed barriers and utilize positive habits to conquer personal goals.
Travel back to 1890 with us as we highlight William James's groundbreaking insights and trace the evolution of habits through various cultural lenses. We dive into the mechanics of habit formation—context cues, repetition, and rewards—and spotlight keystone habits that can pivotally influence other behaviors. Expect practical takeaways like the power of sticky notes as reminders and how pivotal habits can either uplift or undermine your progress.
Ready to tackle the uphill battle of breaking negative habits? Discover the science behind the 66-day habit formation cycle and the strategies to keep yourself motivated during the tough early days. With personal tales of sugary allure and emotional eating woes, we stress the importance of kindness and experimentation, reminding you that setbacks are just stepping stones. As we wrap up, the Cuddle Gigolo a.k.a. HH Julius, your guide to the Pillow Fort Sessions—a creative and kink-positive journey most Thursdays. Tune in for engaging discussions that promise to entertain and enlighten, as we gather Around the Kinky Kampfire.
Got a burning question about kink, BDSM, relationships, and/or navigating the wild world of alternative lifestyles?
Send in your questions. No topic is too taboo, no curiosity too small! We’re all making mistakes, growing, and exploring together!Submit your questions anonymously at aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com or slide into our DMs at Twitter-KinkyKampfire, YT-AroundtheKinkyKampfire, IG-KampfireKinksters. Let’s keep the fire going!
Come let us know what you think on IG - https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Welcome back everybody to the camphile that is Kinky, the podcast which has the hostess, host, host with the most, and all those rhyming words. Once again, this is the Cuddle Gigolo, colonel McBee, leche Fluffles, or you can just call me HH Julius or just Jules Julius. However may have you, we are back here for another Pillowfort session and around the Kinky Campfire. This is the episodes that take about 30 minutes or so where I dive deep into a subject, get right up in there and then let you all know about what I found, so that you know we have the larger regular episodes around the Kinky Campfire podcast, when we, you know, talk about all kinds of different subjects. This is my time to go ahead and just inform you of some more detail oriented, less entertaining, more academic type of deals, and today's topic is all about habits and how they form. So I'm just going to go ahead and just give that to you now, instead of like leading the witness here and then having y'all guess before we do our most famous parts, most requested. You could say that you guys love so much and that is the ASMR. Like five seconds down when I'm by myself, maybe 30 seconds if I have somebody else with me. Today I am drinking once again not sponsored actually an adult beverage compared to my tea or energy drinks Once again not sponsored, but we still like you a lot an adult beverage compared to my tea or energy drinks. Once again, not sponsored, but we still like you a lot to sparkling ice plus caffeine or just sparkling ice either one If we had a sponsor like that. I mean, you know Julius is a whore for sponsorships and I will still say it again, but have me some fancy silver tequila, me a zago that's the best Mexican accent I can do out there right now Me Azago, tequila, silver. I don't really do the gold or the brown stuff, if any kind of liquor, whiskey, bourbon, any of that stuff really. I'm just not a fan of the aged barrels there. Apparently I don't like the oak flavor so much. I like me a good silver or white tequila, or rum or gin, all those different types of things. Tequila more so. A lot of people don't know the reason why you have that tequila effect. Is there a little bit of caffeine in most tequilas? That's probably what you're feeling so frisky for when people say they lose their minds or whatever, or forget stuff on tequila. That's usually why. Just FYI, but Julius loves him a good tequila and this one is actually pretty good. I usually like to try a different brand every time I do it, but not sponsored May as I go, silver tequila and ASMR Five seconds, without further ado, in three, two, one.
Speaker 1:Oh, so cold, got uh big ice chunks in there. I don't know if y'all can hear that my teeth are sensitive. Okay, enough playing around, let's get started here. I've less than 30 minutes now to talk about what I'm talking about. Like I said, forming habits. Okay, forming habits, okay, forming habits.
Speaker 1:A lot of people have this thing now the days, and just the general media, where they say, oh, if somebody's talented, I could never do that, I could never learn a language. Oh, I've always wanted to play pool, whatever it is, learn something new. And they say, oh, I just never, I'm just not good at it. And it's like, even if it's like a soft skill, like a social skill or something, if you haven't practiced it, then you're not going to get good at it. That's just the facts. People yes, I understand there's people who are talented. They just had a head start on you, but you can still be good at something. I understand if you're talking about sports or something. If somebody's taller or bigger than the other person, it doesn't mean you can't be good at it. You're not going into the NBA, the NFL, the NHL, whatever, but you can still be good at the sport. I know a lot of people and I'm about six foot that are shorter than me that are very much better at whatever sport. It is because they've practiced. That's part of the thing.
Speaker 1:So this is why I want to talk about habits, because people act like you can't practice habits and get good at skills skills, all different kind of skills, the hard skills and the soft skills like just stroke it till it's hard and that's what you got to do, and sometimes. Or even stroke it till it's soft, something like that. But anyways, it's like yeah, here we go. We're going to talk about habits right now because a lot of people, like I said, have been saying this and I can't take it anymore. So julius is going on a rant here for the next 25 minutes or so. So buckle your seatbelts, enjoy this ride, okay.
Speaker 1:So, first of all, I always like to give a definition, just so we're all on the same page, because that's what I like to do Make sure we're all on the same foundation springboard, jumping block, whatever you have you podium soapbox. That way we're continuing on this journey on a right page and then I'm going to do a little history and then we're going to talk about the key components of forming habits, because that's really what we're here for. I know y'all don't like the nerdy stuff so much, which I do, but yeah, I like to start from the base level, okay. So, definition of a habit? Okay, a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up, a routine of behavior that is repeated regularly and tends to occur subconsciously. So, to break that down for you, it's an unconscious, subconscious activity that you do without thought. So it's something you do without thinking about it. It has to be something done, an action that you do. It doesn't have to necessarily be physical, it could be mental. We all know what verbs are those type of things. Okay, state of being, all that stuff. But it's something, some verb, that you do unconsciously. Okay, or I don't know if you want to get into the Freudian different things of it, the subconscious and unconscious, all these different names Without thinking, different names without thinking about it. Just make it real simple for the layman's. Okay, so we have the definition. We're on the same page, correct? Yes, please. Yes, hand in the back. Yes, same page, yes, okay, no, no question. Okay, all right. So we'll move on to the history now, because Julius likes him, a good nerdy history right here. So the history of the word habit comes from the Latin word habiri, nailed it, which means have consist of, and habitus, nailed it again, which means condition or state of being.
Speaker 1:In 1890, william James wrote a book about the principles of psychology. Of course, the psychologists coined the terms habit, took it from the French, borrowed it from the Latins, something like that. And in the book he mentions oh, william James, almost got it right, you got to switch those two names around, it might be better. Natural tendency, talking about a natural tendency to navigate life, habits of innate tendency, which are called instincts or your gut feelings. Any sequence of mental action which has been frequently repeated tends to perpetuate itself, so that we find ourselves automatically prompted to think, feel or do what we have been before accustomed to think, do or feel under like circumstances, without any consciously formed purpose or anticipated result. So we will break that down to think, feel, do under any circumstances when we get to the formation. So if you're a little bit confused now by a lot of words that I just gave you, it is completely understandable. Okay, so let us talk about the evolution of the concept.
Speaker 1:Concept of habit has evolved over time with two major traditions emerging Associationists and Organicists. Nailed it again. The Associationists Okay, associationists, stop goofing around. I'm actually going to try to say it here associate, associates about as close as I'm going to get. Trend views habits as units that result from the and individualized by their enactment. So you have to do it constantly Stable patterns, people. Stable patterns by enacting them. Okay, in the Middle Ages, oh, so we went a little bit farther back. Yeah, christian monastic traditions placed a strong emphasis on habitual behavior Seven deadly sins, for example, and their corresponding virtues. Also another example represented good and bad habits that individuals were encouraged to shun or cultivate. Good and bad habits. Okay, ooh, a little foreshadowing. We're going to talk about good and bad habits that individuals were encouraged to shun or cultivate. Good and bad habits. Okay, a little foreshadowing. We're going to talk about good and bad habits a little bit later.
Speaker 1:Eastern philosophies also address habits, often in the context of mindfulness and self-discipline. You have to be aware of these things. In order to form these habits See the actions, verbs, whatever have you that you are trying to do you have to be aware of them first and put them into practice. A lot of enactment, a lot of doing and thinking here, a lot of doing and thinking. I'm going to reiterate that again. Okay, when we're forming habits, we have to think about it and then do it repeatedly. Buddhism, for example, emphasized the power of mindful awareness to break the cycle of habitual suffering. You have to continue to work on it mindfully in order to stop doing it.
Speaker 1:If we're talking about bad habits, or do it in case of good habits, okay, all right. So now I know you're asking yourself now that we've done all the nerdy stuff that Julie likes to do, which is great. I enjoyed that very've done all the nerdy stuff that Julie likes to do, which is great. I enjoyed that very much. Even doing the research. I had to narrow that down. I enjoyed reading all of it.
Speaker 1:Okay, so how do we form habits? Great question. I'm going to tell you there are three main components. Okay, there's the context, cue, behavioral repetition and the reward. I think it's pretty self-explanatory there. Okay, there's the context, cue, behavioral repetition and the reward. I think it's pretty self-explanatory there. Okay, that's it, we're done for the day. You got it. That's it, just kidding, okay, so we're going to break down context cues, behavioral repetition and the reward.
Speaker 1:Context cue or a context cue can be a prior action, time of day, location or anything really that triggers habitual behavior. This is the trigger for the verb that we are trying to do subconsciously or unconsciously Could be anything that one associates with the habit. I know for me, I like mental conditioning and triggers. So when I see something or hear something like that, it's like it reminds me oh, I need to do this Usually. Just write it down. That's really really good. Sticky notes are amazing for those things. I don't know if you've heard of those, but you just slap whatever you know right now and jot down whatever you want on there and that sticky note, you slap it on the wall and it's right there in your face. I like to put mine at eye level, usually yellow, you know that's what they typically come in, but any color that doesn't blend in with the surrounding background. Really good stuff. Great for reminding you when you're trying to form a habit.
Speaker 1:Just FYI, don't have to do what Julie's does, but just putting it out there, behavior is habit that one exhibits, and a reward, a positive feeling that reinforces the habit loop, may be triggered by a goal. So once you have successfully done the habit, you give yourself a little positive feeling, reward, whatever have you, and then that triggers. You know, the loop is triggered again. That's how we do this. Keystone habits, more specifically, influence the formation of other habits. Okay, so it's just something that you formation of other habits. Okay, so it's just something that you uh do when you have a habit. So if you have a specific goal or reward you like to give yourself when you complete something, so like when you complete the habit loop, you have a keystone habit, which usually is some form of reward which triggers the loop again, and then you it's a continuous spiral.
Speaker 1:But yeah, keystone habits are more precise, usually something that happens more often than just a regular habit. Regular habits, you know, when you're trying to learn something new, usually that's what happens. So you have a regular habit, a lot of stuff you can learn, but then the keystone habit is something that reinforces those habits over and over again. Of course you can have bad keystone habits. I guess when you have a bad habit, you have a keystone habit. I guess when you have a bad habit, you have a keystone habit that tells you not to do that habit anymore, and then you work it out of the system, kind of thing. So everything is all interconnected and it works upon itself. Much loops and Venn diagrams and yada, yada, yakety, shmackety. Okay, let's see here. All right, we're going to burrow down a little bit more.
Speaker 1:High self-control may influence the formation of habits. Yes, self-control, that thing, that tricky, tricky thing. Tequila Must hydrate Mayo Zago. Okay, not sponsored. Once again, just, you know, putting it out there. Okay, self-control. Yes, formation of habits. And in turn affect behaviors etched deeply into our brains through repetition, again, with that repeating word.
Speaker 1:Maintained by a loop oh, another buzzword. Maintained by a loop process involving a cue, routine and a reward. Once again, just another way of putting the three foundational principles of forming a habit there. Cue triggers the brain to initiate a behavior, the routine is behavior itself and the reward is the benefits from the behavior, which reinforces the loop, once again, okay, so made that a little bit simpler. So I made it very confusing at first, but now I've just buried it down Q reward, q routine and reward.
Speaker 1:Okay, habit loops, habits are encoded in the basal ganglia. Okay, so we're getting a little bit nerdy here, all right. The basal ganglia for those people that did not pass anatomy a deep brain structure, neuroscience, deep brain structure involved in emotion, pattern recognition and memory. Okay, involved in emotion, pattern recognition and memory, okay, so one would argue that emotion kind of influences behavior, also the memory. I know, especially people that are neurodivergent or neuro-spicy like myself, a lot of things are based in emotion. If you guys didn't just you know from a couch counselor type deal, youtube certified that adhd is very much a an emotional big d. I'm just saying this because I'm repeating it from the doctors and the smart people that I watched the youtube video on, but after breaking it down, also also not an expert, but ADHD is emotional. So, also with habits based in emotion, pattern recognition and memory, all right, when a behavior becomes habitual, the brain's decision-making center, prefrontal cortex or, once again, anatomy, goes offline, making habits automatic and hard to break. So, yeah, unconscious actions, yeah, are kind of hard to break because you're not thinking about them.
Speaker 1:One would say awareness is the key to initiating change. I would say that I'm not an expert, but I know an expert that says it. I know experts that say that I'm just repeating what they say. So somebody out there did their research. I read, I watched that research or read that research, and I'm just saying it back back to you now so you're aware of it. Go out there and do your own research, figure it out for yourself. I'm telling the truth. I don't really care if you think I'm right or wrong. These are facts. So I don't know what to tell you. I'm just spitting out the facts that these smart people put out there, and I I have done my research on, just to let you know, one of those smart people Was Charles Duhigg, author of the Power.
Speaker 1:Habit Involves recognizing the cue and reward Driven Driving the behavior and finding a new, healthier routine To achieve the same reward. Mindfulness Increases awareness Of cues and routines, creating a space for choice Instead of automatic response. Oh, would you looky there Could have sworn to this has been saying it this whole time. And another smart person said it in a book, a published book called the Power of Habit, and that person was Charles Duhigg. Once again, d-u-h-i-g-g, just so you know. Mindfulness increases awareness of cues and routines. Oh man, would you look at that? Forming good habits, one would say, starts by clearly defining the routine you want to establish. Establish a consistent cue that will trigger the routine and then you have a reward once again.
Speaker 1:Habit stacking involves attaching a new habit to an existing one. Oh, looky there. Stack new habit onto the existing one by meditating each morning, just so. It helps to ingrain that thing, and that is a whole other thing. I don't know. I can't remember if we talked about meditation. Remind me again there, camsters. Have we talked about meditation? Do you know what Julius feels about meditation? Do you know what Julius feels about meditation? Look at there.
Speaker 1:Somebody wrote in a book and said that meditation is good for stacking new habits, creating new habits, reinforcing habits. Oh, my goodness gracious, all those different words. So crazy it's. Also, I would like to take a minute or second, a couple of seconds here to note that forming new habits take time. They do. You have to reinforce, go through the cue, the routine and reward process multiple times in order to form habits.
Speaker 1:I just want to tell you that the study from the European Journal of Social Psychology noted that on average it takes 66 days for a new behavior or habit to become automatic. But of course that depends on the person. So just so you know, there has been research out there that has tested, experimented. Whatever you want to say about the formation of habits takes about 66 days. Why such a precise number? Of course that is an average, an average just so y'all know. Okay, just letting y'all know out there. That's a good two months, goodness gracious. I even saw like 90 days. So it just depends on the person, like I said before, but you have to work on it. And also, that's pretty sure, 66 straight days. I didn't see anything in there where you can break the days. Of course that depends on how many people if you want to take a day or two break, but that just slows down the process.
Speaker 1:I would argue that you'd have to start it over. Just from my personal research, having practice habits, you pretty much have to start all over. So 66 straight days also has to be purposeful. And I think it was about two hours a day you wanted to work on and it doesn't have to be all at one time, just cumulatively throughout the day working on those habits. I don't know how many specific times, times, specific repetitions that you have to do if it's something really short, but yeah, about two hours cumulatively Anything more or less than that. Well, less than that it doesn't form, and more than that, you just kind of exhaust yourself. It doesn't increase your stacking, that's the word we used. It doesn't increase your stacking if you go more than two hours and then also remember to take breaks. It's like studying okay, same thing, you got to take breaks. You can't do it for a long time, otherwise it's just not going to hurt, hurt, it's not going to work, it is painful, oh boy, especially when you forget the first couple times, like, oh God, damn it, I forgot again. That's why are good, okay, primary.
Speaker 1:So there's some primary factors that should be considered in producing a habit. First, you need a stimulus, like a sticky note or some reason that you're going to do this habit. Then you have a behavior, which is something that the actual verb that you're trying to do, and then, of course, we have the reward. Once again cue, routine and reward. I'm going to keep saying that over and over again. You need that. If you don't remember anything else from Julius rambling on his soapbox, remember there's three things that form a habit A cue or a stimulus, a routine or behavior, the action and the reward or reward. That one has been repeated and the reward or reward that one has been repeated over and over again. Everybody agrees on the reward part. You have to reward yourself. Usually, you know, gratitude works too. It's really simple Just say thank you self for trying to do something. That most of the time is uncomfortable, but we tried it anyway as best we can.
Speaker 1:And remember, go easy on yourself, especially in the first couple weeks. First couple weeks are always hard. You really got to get to that. 66 days, two months, whatever have you. Oh, if you can do three months, that's really good. Then you're just getting extra credit points there. But yeah, it's really hard in the beginning.
Speaker 1:And also one other thing once you start doing it every now and then, uh, unconsciously, so remember you gotta, you gotta set it in there. When you're just like recognizing that you've done it, that doesn't really set it in there. You got to keep going past that point at least a couple more weeks. And then, once it's ingrained in there and you're just doing it and it takes a couple days and you're like, oh, I've been doing it this whole time. You recognize that or you're aware of that. That's when it's set in.
Speaker 1:So, just, fyi people, just so you know, okay, we're gonna finish up here because, uh, julius is talking a few more minutes. Um, but some things to consider and then I'll have some final thoughts here. Um, just so it's easier for you. Okay, I just want to, I want you to take these points and then, you know, do your own research or, just, you know, practice it for yourself. Experimentation Also you're going to fail, okay, if nothing else, you're going to fail. That's where that gratitude comes in. Just so y'all know it's not easy. Just letting you know it is simple but not easy. Okay, first thing to consider Find ways to lower your stress level, because when you are stressed, hey, it's hard to remember things when you're stressed, especially if you're neurodivergent.
Speaker 1:Just FYI, julius didn't come up with that, the smart people did. But I believe it and I practice it. Just so y'all know it's hard to remember if you're stressed out. Fight, flight, response, fawn, flee, oh, fight, fade, fade, all those different things. Uh, okay, simple measures can reduce stress, like taking a walk or practicing techniques such as yogic breathing and mindfulness exercises oh, there's that mindfulness word again, campsters. Yogic breathing, uh, the, uh, all those different breathing techniques that they have on the YouTubes. There are plenty of meditation podcasts or just channels or TikToks or whatever that will teach you yogic breathing or any kind of really breathing technique. Out there. The Wim Hof is a big thing. I don't know if anybody's heard of that, but that is a breathing expert, guru, whatever you want to call it out there teaching you how to do this. Also, mindfulness exercise or you could say meditation. That could be one thing.
Speaker 1:Next thing you need to consider become aware of your negative habits. Yeah, you got to be aware of them. They are largely automatic and we are often unaware of those habits and their associated experiences. So those two have cubes and behaviors and somehow you're rewarding yourself Really bad. When old Julius is having a really depressing day, somebody likes to go grab a box of cookies and eat the whole thing. Habits being rewarded by the sugary reward, which is actually bad. Bad habits, especially when you're trying to be diet and health conscious and trying to lose some weight in a box of cookies because somebody likes to eat his cookies and yeah, that's a thing. Oh boy, yeah, you got to be aware of that stuff. Yeah, just look at the nutrition facts. If you too are a food person, if you're a food-motivated and emotional eater. It's great you got to look at the nutrition facts. Oh, one cookie's 300 calories. Probably shouldn't eat all 12 of them, you would think.
Speaker 1:Anyways, another thing to consider being mindful of our negative habits and what they involve can make them easier to break. So we're just going to dive right down into their, into the negative habit spiral. For example, when asked to become mindful of what cigarette smoking tastes like or smells like, some smokers realize that the actual sensations of smoking are not pleasant for them. Yeah, smoking, eating, um, being sedentary, sedentary yep, nailed that one. Not moving around a lot, those kind of things Reinforcing those bad habits. Once you're aware of how it makes you feel or how just kind of horrible it's just not good for you overall. In general, that kind of thing Feelings once again is there and when you become aware of it, it becomes easier to break. Awareness, folks Awareness, okay.
Speaker 1:Next we have avoid cues that were associated with developing the negative habit in the first place. Ie depression, can't really say that, but you have to be diagnosed with depression. But all of us have had shitty days. The rain is falling on my head. You want to reach for something that makes you feel better. In this case it was smoking. My case is food, video games, all kind of things that just kind of numb our bad feelings so we don't feel them anymore. But once again, people, it's like a Band-Aid. It's not really fixing the situation or the problem, you're just numbing yourself. Some people use alcohol Not calling anybody out, mayor Zago, we love you as a sponsor, not sponsored, though All those kinds of things.
Speaker 1:Most habits can be triggered by cues and contexts in which they are developed. Cause we've said that so many times, that keyword again. Negative habits can therefore be left dormant If they are associated. Cues or contexts are avoided. Hey, here's that numbing feeling, again that numbing feeling. Yeah, so once we numb those things, we're going to become less aware of them and we avoid them instead of trying to change them. It's going to be uncomfortable, people. It's simple but not easy. Once again, you have to be aware and try to change. Don't let those cues come up and sneak up behind you and start triggering themselves again. Not good. Finally, we wanted to replace the old habit with a new one that opposes it. That's the key. Has to oppose it. Instead of a cookie, grab some broccoli. We'll feel better in the end, hopefully. Fingers crossed.
Speaker 1:I too, have the same problem. This is another reason why I wanted to talk about this. I don't want to talk from a place of elevated position. I'm down there on the ground with the rest of everybody else. I, too, have these same problems, especially if I'm trying to do something new which involves trying to improve my life, and it's like, oh God, trying to start a podcast, for example, was not easy. A lot of people like to throw it out there, but this shit is annoying Trying to learn all these different things. But I had to make it a habit Trying to do all that stuff.
Speaker 1:Technique was used successfully in a study on breaking old and random recycling habits in the workplace and replacing them with a clear strategy for consistent recycling. So just a little example, just recycling. In this case, from the research that I found, this is what they were using. But, yeah, any kind of thing, you got to directly oppose it. That's the biggest thing. It has to be completely different than what you were trying to do. Yeah, in order to break the bad habits Bad habits are so bad. Bad habits are difficult people oh boy, I know from experience I'm sure a lot of you do as well campsters, this is time-consuming, energy-consuming, money-consuming. We have bad habits, but we can control those, like what I said before. Okay, so final thoughts. We're going to leave you on a positive note as I finish my tequila from Marizago, not sponsored, okay, final thoughts.
Speaker 1:Social science acknowledges that the human actor can be driven by reflective, goal or goal-directed mechanisms on some occasions and reflexive and reflexive habitual mechanisms on others. Once again, awareness research is beginning to address important interactions between the conscious, deliberative dimension of behavior and the non-conscious, habitual dimension. Okay, so that means we have different interactions between the conscious, deliberative dimension of behavior and the non-conscious, habitual dimension. Ah goodness, yeah, we have to be aware of these things. So things we do on purpose, knowingly, versus things we don't know we're actually doing Because they are habits, unconscious behavior. There is a connection between that. Okay, we have to become aware to stop the bad habits that we are not aware of. Once again, that is what that confusing sentence said.
Speaker 1:I tried to break it down for you in a little simpler way. There's an argument the habits are integral to free will and an agency insofar as they provide a framework of action possibilities that can be imaginatively reconfigured to meet a person's current goals and circumstances. Okay, action possibilities that can be imaginatively reconfigured to meet a person's current goals and circumstances. This is where we are talking about having rewards, breaking that spiral, opposing the bad habits and have the clear goal in mind. That's the stimulus part of it, the cue that triggers the behavior which leads to the reward. Habits can be motivated by a very general sense of reward, without necessarily being directed by specific goals. Okay, so this is where these what did I say before Keystone habits, there's another habit and habit stacking, so we have a reward.
Speaker 1:A general reward habit Makes it easier than having, like, a specific goal. So, for example, losing weight, instead of having a specific number, just say you want to drop a few jean sizes, yesan sizes, yes, pant sizes, so you're not stuck to that scale. So much, just drop a little size. Like for me myself, I would like my thighs not to touch. There was a time when my thighs did not touch. If you have seen me in person, then you know I'm a bigger body person, but I did have a point where my thighs were not touching. That is my goal, not so much the weight on the scale, which is a good factor, but it's not. You know, consciously worrying about the numbers on a machine is not good General sense of reward. I was just like no, it needs not to touch.
Speaker 1:Chafing is a thing, especially here in Florida. It's hot, people. When your thighs are rubbed together, it makes heat. The skin doesn't like it. When you rub it together, like it and generate heat, it just becomes more painful. Chafing Ugh so terrible, I can actually smell the flesh burning.
Speaker 1:Okay, and then, lastly, view human behavior as an evolving, dynamic interplay of goal-oriented, intentional, reflective processes, along with automated, context-cued habits. Very complicated way of saying that. Forgive yourself people. Okay, you will mess up a few times, even if you have a goal or reward in mind. Just know that our bodies, our minds, are fighting us all the time. Minds and body, it's like a little robot, a little pilot. Um, pilot, a little person piloting a robot.
Speaker 1:Meet Dave is the movie Meet Dave with Eddie Murphy. Can't remember anything for anything right now. Meet Dave, yeah, a little man piloting a big robot. That's what it feels like sometimes. Okay, your body's going against you. Your mind wants to fight you. Researchers have said this. The smart people have said this. You got to fight yourself sometimes. It's just how it is, people. So just remember to be kind, because you have all these forces opposing you. You got your feelings as well. It's just, everything is in there. Your body wants to be comfortable, even though you want to learn Spanish. It doesn't like the uncomfortability of not knowing a thing, so it fights you on it. Okay, I could ramble on that as well, but I'm going to finish this up now, since I've gone over time, especially trying to remember actors' names. What the heck? Eddie Murphy, goodness, meet Dave. It's actually a pretty funny movie and also very pertinent to life stuff. Yeah, that's a word.
Speaker 1:Okay, so this is once again the Pillowfort Sessions of Around the Kinky Campfire. We have new episodes most of the time, most Thursdays of the month. Sometimes I do it by myself, sometimes I have people with me. We shall see how that goes in the future, but if you enjoy it, please check it out on all popular main podcast platforms Spotify, amazon, google, all those different types of things and also come to the Instagram Campfire Kingsters, campfire with a K, also around the campfire with a K, just so y'all know if you don't. But for now, this is the Cuddle Gigolo Taco Snuggles. Colonel McBee, or just HH Julius, julius for short, colonel McBee, or just HH Julius, julius for short, julius, for even shorter your entertainment creative. That is all for now, hello.